Jesus suffered so we could live. And so must we - suffer a few trials and tribulations.
My cross for this year is carrying on relationships of the past. Or rather, letting go. And letting in.
I have always struggled with a constant dependence on parents, siblings, family, friends... and now that they aren't physically present before me, I am so fearful of losing such ties and connections. I don't have enough trust in the continuation of relationships, and I find that disappointing that I just can't have faith or trust in that growth process.
I think my flaw as a human being is establishing such high expectations that I naturally set myself up for disappointment. In relationships - in work - in many different things that come my way.
And as I evaluate these things, I realize that this is how God must feel in my relationship with him. He wants us to be dependent on him, to foster this deep sense of love from him and of him, and yet, I do not take the time to communicate with him or listen to him. I am so caught up in the earthly matters of this world that I forget the divine existence of God before me. And for that, I take him for granted.
I am so sorry, Lord.
The feeling of being taken for granted is terrible. And I'm sorry that I have taken God for granted. I see my JVC journey as an opportunity to develop that relationship so that in turn, I can be in relationship with others and share a Christ-centered connection.
This is a cross I am overwhelmed by but am willing to bear - with all the tears and laughter, sadness and joy that will come out of it.
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