wisdom from mr. george balagtas

"If someone loves a flower, of which just one single blossom grows in the

millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look
at the stars. He can say to himself, 'Somewhere, my flower is there...' "

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (Le Pétit Prince) ~

Freak Out!

I felt really tense today at the end of school. I drove out alone - my roommate is visiting her special friend :) for a wedding and is gone for the weekend. But I felt really stressed - kinda outta it, and I was rushing to get out of there. And I found myself saying, "Slow down. Slow down. Breathe for Pete's sake."

When I got into the car, I immediately turned on the radio - like I always do... And then I felt even more stressed out. Overwhelmed. Stuck and trapped.

So I turned it off. And started a conversation with God. So for about 20-30 minutes I was driving in a silent car - running 70 mph rather than my usual 90 mph and started talking to God --- outloud.

And it was an incredible feeling. To talk. And to hear my voice speaking to Him. Because I knew I was being heard - even if I wasn't getting a response. I started talking about my stresses here, the stresses in my head, praying about tense issues, and praying for other people. And I felt my scrunched face slowly relaxing itself. And the tense muscles were slowly relaxing. And I began to feel at peace.

If only I took time to do that every day. Slow down, pray, and talk to God. Now, I have to take some time to listen. Be still, quiet, listen, and be at peace. Simply be.

And in today's horoscope (for you Aries peeps...):

"If something goes wrong, it may remind you of other times in your past that have caused you pain. Old hurts come back to haunt you and if you choose to sweep them back under the psychological rug, you still won't make them go away. You can resolve the past by feeling the pain of the present. It's important, however, to discern which is which."

Trauma on the Road

So, I had forgotten about this...

It was a foggy morning today and Erin and I were running a bit late to school. I was definitely speeding on the highway, running about 90 mph (I know I know I shouldn't do it!). As I was driving, I saw a car in the distance and thought, "Oh shoot I better slow down." And it was really foggy.... and since I was focusing on that car ahead, I didn't notice the insane creature that came outta nowhere, scrambling into the street. I saw it about two feet away before I approached it and I screamed, "Oh shoot! No! Omigosh!" Erin and I both screamed and within seconds, we definitely heard a THUD against our right front wheel. The following is what happened next in the car:

Rowena: "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I just hit an animal!!!"
Erin: "AAAAAAH!"
Rowena: (looking into the rearview mirror) "Oh my gosh! It just tumbled off to the side of the road! I killed an animal!"
SECONDS LATER
Rowena: "WAIT! It's flying out! Oh my gosh --- what the?!?!"
Erin: "What was that?"
Rowena: "I have no freakin clue!"

The dang animal ran freakishly into the road, emerging from the fog and I straight up hit it with my 90 mph running Honda Accord. Holy Buckets.

Oh and to top it off, right after, a dog was in the middle of the road and I had to halt our car and scream at it to move out of the street.

When we got to school, I told Fanny, the kindergarten teacher and she said, "Sometimes, you have to hit it. Because it can cause other accidents on the road. So if you have to hit a deer, hit it."

OMG - I hope I never have to cross a deer while I'm driving.

And with the help of Fanny, we determined the psycho bird-animal-thing that I hit which will probably bring me tons of karma for doing so:

a PHEASANT.


These things are PSYCHO. For more information, visit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pheasant

Sick for Home

It's the feast day of St. Francis and we had a beautiful Mass at school today. Father Randolph, our priest at St. Charles, is a Franciscan. It was nice to see him in his brown robe. The last time i had seen that was back in Assisi during our pilgrimmage.

And that got me thinking, "Man, I really miss Assisi and Europe."

I miss being in holy places and experiencing God. I miss the foreign lanugages and new sights and absorbing new things. When Fr. Randolph started describing Assisi and the mountains and St. Mary Major where St. Francis died, I couldn't help but get emotional inside, remembering that "Wow, we saw those places with our own eyes...we walked on holy ground." And that was an overwhelming thought.

Speaking of being homesick for Europe, I'm also really homesick for home. For Seattle and California. For my family. For my friends.

For gifts of generosity and sincerity, authenticity and selflessness, openness and welcomeness... gifts that showed me God... gifts that were manifested through my family and friends...