In the course of 40 miles, Erin and I have encountered the following creatures on the road:
* raccoon
* skunk
* dog
* porcupine
* squirrel
* bird (which I may have killed :/ I'M SORRY IT FLEW INTO MY WINDSHIELD!)
It's tramautizing really - to drive over dead flesh. It sounds morbid and I probably sound completely ridiculous, but I am terrified each time I accidentally drive over it. It's comparable to riding over a speed-bump but it is not entertaining at all.
Rest in peace, dear animals.
I've also had an interesting first few days at work. We started officially on Wednesday, heading to Pryor for Staff Training. Over the course of three days, we have sat in plastic seats, waiting for direction.... and apparently I had a brain fart because I never finished the entry.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
And now for photos!
Meet the JVC Billings Community and our Area Director, Bruce
Clockwise: Bruce, Rowena, Erin, Katie, Courtney, Heather, Megan
Home Sweet Home for the next year
Enjoying Montana in the middle of nowhere!
Clockwise: Bruce, Rowena, Erin, Katie, Courtney, Heather, Megan
Home Sweet Home for the next year
Enjoying Montana in the middle of nowhere!
Flashback Thoughts
8 August 2006
I did it. I'm here at JVC Orientation. My path led me here. God brought me to this day. I'm just disappointed I didn't journal more about it. Anyway, I arrived in Portland today at 9 a.m. and arrived in camp. Met my housemates. Five girls. Welcoming ritual included a smudging ritual of a Native American tribe. We were called to purify ourselves. Purify. I said yes. Yes to challenge. Yes to joy. Yes to be ruined...for life. For now, sleep.
9 August 2006 3:45 p.m.
We're working on / praying with an exercise that calls us to grieve our 'losses' - to the people and things we have said goodbye to for a year, to have closure. But to be honest, I don't think I'm quite ready for that. I don't think I've come to terms with the fact that I have to say goodbye. With FAMILY, I know I'll never have to. But it was really hard for me to leave California. ... But I rest in the comfort in knowning that they are my solid foundation of love.
Ate told me this was my year of sacrifice. Indeed, it is. It is the sacrifice of my community of FRIENDS in Seattle. Over the past year, I have been in constant denial about leaving them, about being apart, about letting go, and losing relationships, about never having the same friendships again. There's something liberating and terrifying in that. ... Circumstances will change - have changed. And yet again, as I am writing this, I am numbed. ... I just have to have more faith and trust. ... I am also afraid of letting go of my recent exepreinces - of graduation, Ecuador, Europe. I want to savor them, embrace them, keep them close forever, but I know that any gift given must be released in order for it to be fully realized. <--- philosophy for Fredo
But as I let go, the process of letting in is slowly unfolding. I always felt like the character in the Bible who comes to Jesus and says, "Master, I am here. I have followed all the commandments. I am a good Christian. What more do I need to do to know you?" And Jesus tells him, "Come and follow me, leaving everyone and everything behind, selling your possessions." And he can't follow. Because he is attached to these people and things, because he simply can't let go. In a sense, I feel like I have taken one step ahead and that I have let go, I am beginning because I said yes to God.
I said yes to God.
22 August 2006 1 a.m.
During our JVC Orientation, we were called to make this year our Love Story. To echo the words of Pedro Arrupe, SJ, "Fall in love. Stay in love. And it will decide everything."
Tonight, it made me thing, "I don't think I have a love story." I don't think I've ever fallen in love with someone - something. In some cases I thought I had, but I didn't.
But then, it makes me think of Search. I fell in love with the retreat - with people - with dancing - with singing - with crying and laughing in the same breath - with affirmations and letters - with God - with love. I fell in love with love.
And then I think about Mexico. And I fell in love with the food, the culture, the people.
But I think the most recent encounter with falling in love occurred this summer when I met people in Ecuador. They genuinely loved. I had never felt so loved. And they taught me how to love. Unconditionally. With no fear. With no expectations. (Not to say that I don't already experience this with my own family.)
I wish to have that experience yet again in Billings. But I am afraid to love. I am afraid that if I give of my heart, it can be shattered to pieces. I'm afraid I'll start to expect. I'm afraid I'll be disappointed. I'm afraid I'll disappoint.
But that's the only thing I can do - love. I want to fall in love this year... with God. And with love.
"Fall in love. Stay in love. And it will decide everything."
I did it. I'm here at JVC Orientation. My path led me here. God brought me to this day. I'm just disappointed I didn't journal more about it. Anyway, I arrived in Portland today at 9 a.m. and arrived in camp. Met my housemates. Five girls. Welcoming ritual included a smudging ritual of a Native American tribe. We were called to purify ourselves. Purify. I said yes. Yes to challenge. Yes to joy. Yes to be ruined...for life. For now, sleep.
9 August 2006 3:45 p.m.
We're working on / praying with an exercise that calls us to grieve our 'losses' - to the people and things we have said goodbye to for a year, to have closure. But to be honest, I don't think I'm quite ready for that. I don't think I've come to terms with the fact that I have to say goodbye. With FAMILY, I know I'll never have to. But it was really hard for me to leave California. ... But I rest in the comfort in knowning that they are my solid foundation of love.
Ate told me this was my year of sacrifice. Indeed, it is. It is the sacrifice of my community of FRIENDS in Seattle. Over the past year, I have been in constant denial about leaving them, about being apart, about letting go, and losing relationships, about never having the same friendships again. There's something liberating and terrifying in that. ... Circumstances will change - have changed. And yet again, as I am writing this, I am numbed. ... I just have to have more faith and trust. ... I am also afraid of letting go of my recent exepreinces - of graduation, Ecuador, Europe. I want to savor them, embrace them, keep them close forever, but I know that any gift given must be released in order for it to be fully realized. <--- philosophy for Fredo
But as I let go, the process of letting in is slowly unfolding. I always felt like the character in the Bible who comes to Jesus and says, "Master, I am here. I have followed all the commandments. I am a good Christian. What more do I need to do to know you?" And Jesus tells him, "Come and follow me, leaving everyone and everything behind, selling your possessions." And he can't follow. Because he is attached to these people and things, because he simply can't let go. In a sense, I feel like I have taken one step ahead and that I have let go, I am beginning because I said yes to God.
I said yes to God.
22 August 2006 1 a.m.
During our JVC Orientation, we were called to make this year our Love Story. To echo the words of Pedro Arrupe, SJ, "Fall in love. Stay in love. And it will decide everything."
Tonight, it made me thing, "I don't think I have a love story." I don't think I've ever fallen in love with someone - something. In some cases I thought I had, but I didn't.
But then, it makes me think of Search. I fell in love with the retreat - with people - with dancing - with singing - with crying and laughing in the same breath - with affirmations and letters - with God - with love. I fell in love with love.
And then I think about Mexico. And I fell in love with the food, the culture, the people.
But I think the most recent encounter with falling in love occurred this summer when I met people in Ecuador. They genuinely loved. I had never felt so loved. And they taught me how to love. Unconditionally. With no fear. With no expectations. (Not to say that I don't already experience this with my own family.)
I wish to have that experience yet again in Billings. But I am afraid to love. I am afraid that if I give of my heart, it can be shattered to pieces. I'm afraid I'll start to expect. I'm afraid I'll be disappointed. I'm afraid I'll disappoint.
But that's the only thing I can do - love. I want to fall in love this year... with God. And with love.
"Fall in love. Stay in love. And it will decide everything."
It begins...
With the wisdom of several individuals, I have decided to begin a blog about my JVC journey to keep people regularly updated about life in Billings, MT. So begins my tale...
JOINING JVC:
On Tuesday, July 25 at 10 a.m. I received a phone call from Stephanie Barr, a JVC rep. She introduced herself and asked me if I was interested in pursuing my application since I had not fully completed the process. With three references pending, she suggested an interview for Thursday morning at 10 a.m. I willingly agreed and found out there were only two placements left - one in Portland, OR and one in Billings, MT. She described both - one as a position working with women who have graduated from a substance abuse progam and the other position as a reading tutor. I immediately told her my passion was teaching and preferred to be considered for the Billings placement. We ended our conversation with a pending phone interview for Thursday morning. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, we had to reschedule the interview. This gave me more time to discern.
My discernment process started in November 2005 after Dan suggested JVC. I had three days before the following year would potentially be decided for me. I prayed. I cried. I prayed some more. I asked God, "What do you want me to do?!?" "Are you saying yes? Are you saying no?" I didn't get my yes/no response. That is - until I had my interview.
The morning of Friday, July 28, I headed to morning Mass with Mom and Daddy. I prayed and prayed that the Holy Spirit would lead me the right way. Returnign home, I prepared and promptly at 11 a.m. I called the JVC office in Portland. The phone interview that was supposed to last one hour ended up being two. The more I spoke, the more I knew that that was where I wanted and need to be. Stephanie comforted me with my apprehensions and encouraged me to continue praying about it. But in the middle of the interview, I knew I was supposed to be in JVC. With such a late application coming in, the office still considered me as a candidate and conveniently, there was an open position just as my application arrived. It was fate. One hour later, I received a call from Stephanie and I was offered the position in JVC. Monday, July 31 at 1:30 p.m. I was officially welcomed after my interview with the principal at St. Charles Mission School.
Four weeks later, I'm sitting in the living room of the JVC house in Billings as an official Jesuit Volunteer. And I'm ready to embark on a new journey. Here's to being ruined for life!
JOINING JVC:
On Tuesday, July 25 at 10 a.m. I received a phone call from Stephanie Barr, a JVC rep. She introduced herself and asked me if I was interested in pursuing my application since I had not fully completed the process. With three references pending, she suggested an interview for Thursday morning at 10 a.m. I willingly agreed and found out there were only two placements left - one in Portland, OR and one in Billings, MT. She described both - one as a position working with women who have graduated from a substance abuse progam and the other position as a reading tutor. I immediately told her my passion was teaching and preferred to be considered for the Billings placement. We ended our conversation with a pending phone interview for Thursday morning. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, we had to reschedule the interview. This gave me more time to discern.
My discernment process started in November 2005 after Dan suggested JVC. I had three days before the following year would potentially be decided for me. I prayed. I cried. I prayed some more. I asked God, "What do you want me to do?!?" "Are you saying yes? Are you saying no?" I didn't get my yes/no response. That is - until I had my interview.
The morning of Friday, July 28, I headed to morning Mass with Mom and Daddy. I prayed and prayed that the Holy Spirit would lead me the right way. Returnign home, I prepared and promptly at 11 a.m. I called the JVC office in Portland. The phone interview that was supposed to last one hour ended up being two. The more I spoke, the more I knew that that was where I wanted and need to be. Stephanie comforted me with my apprehensions and encouraged me to continue praying about it. But in the middle of the interview, I knew I was supposed to be in JVC. With such a late application coming in, the office still considered me as a candidate and conveniently, there was an open position just as my application arrived. It was fate. One hour later, I received a call from Stephanie and I was offered the position in JVC. Monday, July 31 at 1:30 p.m. I was officially welcomed after my interview with the principal at St. Charles Mission School.
Four weeks later, I'm sitting in the living room of the JVC house in Billings as an official Jesuit Volunteer. And I'm ready to embark on a new journey. Here's to being ruined for life!
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