there's nothing like a good cry.

"The phrase 'I've been there' is in the chorus of Christ's theme song.
To the Lonely, Jesus whispers, 'I've been there.'
To the Discouraged, Christ nods his head and sighs, 'I've been there.'"

He's been there. And thank God someone understands...

It's been a tumultuous two weeks of work-work-work. For those of you that didn't read Ate's public service announcement, as of January 7th, 2008, I became a bonafide teacher @ St. Mary School as a Math, Life Science, and P.E. teacher. Hurrah! ehhh...

In the past ten days, I have cried 6-7 times. It's scary when you realize that what you've always dreamed about turns out to be something completely different. I always thought I was meant to be a teacher - to have a higher purpose - to help and motivate students to reach their dreams. Ultimately, that's what a teacher does - helps a child realize what his/her dream is, accompanying them, setting the basic foundation of what's to be explored in life. I always admired my teachers and loved to write on the chalk board or read from the huge teacher's manual (complete with spiral binding). But as each year of life has gone on, I've realized that it's more than holding chalk or carrying a big textbook. It's a huge responsibility. You have the ability and the power to touch someone's life. You can empower or discourage a child with just one word, one glance. What a blessing to do that - to call that your profession.

I think I still want to do that. But this has been the hardest two weeks of my life. All I know is my work. I've been immersed in my work - and not in this healthy way. I'm trying to catch up and learn things and look like I have my shit together. But I don't. And I know I'm still learning, it's only been two weeks, but I want to be the best I can be for those kiddos.

In due time...

Teaching middle school can be a bitch. gaaaah. But that's a population that really needs a strong support system. I'm starting to trail off and I'm not quite sure where I'm getting at....

All in all, it's been rough, I can add details later for interested, inquiring minds to know, and I just need to pray.

I've forgotten how to pray. And I cry because of that too.
I haven't had You along for the journey. I'm sorry.
Help me remember, Lord. You've been there...