The past two days have been good bonding days with the fambam. With the Asong sisters reunited, it's a trip watching my mom with her sisters. I've laughed. I've farted. I've been quiet and observant. I've been overstimulated by all the going-ons. We spent yesterday catching up with mom's sister from pinas. Today, sister from wa flew down and it feels good to see them all together - for the first time in years... seeing their bond makes me so grateful for family but most especially for my sister-friend. (don't cry, ate hehe) it's an irreplaceable bond that no other relationship can fill. and when you meet a friend who can meet sister-status, that's pretty impressive. i'm grateful for those girls who have also reached sister-status.
nostalgia - i happen to come across my autobiography essay for my jvc application. i was so optimistic. such an idealist. i felt so firm in my convictions - in the words i wrote. and now, i'm at a loss for words. i'm impressed by how inspired and how inspired i was just a year and a half ago. how things can change... college was such an idealistic time where i felt like i could conquer the world. i felt invincible, i could go and serve people around the world, be a true "missionary" (as tita calls me hah!), maintain and gain old and new relationships with the people i encountered, continue to live in this idealistic bubble that i created in seattle. ah, but how it stings and how it changes when reality hits. growing pains... i feel like i've lost my fuel, my confidence, my passion. it's somewhere in me... but it has yet to be unmasked.
"searching for meaning can help you sustain what you already have." right on, horoscope.
good night and sweet dreams all. :)
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Oh bebs... i felt the same way during college. I was superfeminist changing the world! but reality does hit after college and you realize, "were all those things in college something i would trully, honestly pursue?!?" are they really my passions? if it is then you will definitely chase after your dreams even if it will take awhile.
People have their moments and maybe right now is a time of "non-action pact" moments. life needs to be slow and confusing at times inorder to "unmask" those dormant passions that will always lie in you!
It's a difficult transition from idealism into reality. It feels stagnant and hopeless. But once you get your drive back you'll be the bebulous you are! i can feel the fire burning in you! ;)
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